Bill Clinton and Kim Jong Il; When attention whores collide

So the reason presented for Bill Clinton deciding to pop over to North Korea is to see if he could negotiate the release of the two reporters (Laura Ling and Euna Lee) that work for his ex-veep Al Gore.

I guess no one told these two broads that communist countries hate when you hang out and try to interview people fleeing their iron clutches. It also is a bad idea to drip scalding hot wax on your genitals, but I think I would do that before I would hang out on the border between North Korea and China - who, ironically, after catching you drip scalding hot wax on your genitals by the way.

Anyway....

Since I really like pointing out obvious stuff let me just mention that we all know that perhaps the main reason for Bill Clinton going to North Korea, and the reason he has been welcomed, is because he and Kim Jong Il are both huge attention whores that hate feeling irrelevant. You might not have noticed during the last election cycle but Bill Clinton REALLY likes attention, even more than most politicians - hell even more than most Hollywood 'celebutantes' (I hate myself for using that word) ... basically I am saying that Bill Clinton is like Paris Hilton without a vagina.

As far as Kim Jong Il - what the hell can you say? The guy makes his citizens worship him like a God and eats pizza and watches porn while his people are starving. The guy has actually kidnapped actors and directors to try to make them do his film projects for him, seriously he is like a villain I would make up if I were really drunk - he is 'space emperor cult leader' crazy.

This meeting is the best thing to happen to these two in awhile, both of them get to pretend they are as important as they both desperately want to be. Just add Lindsay Lohan to this and it basically would have been the dream team of sad, self absorbed, attention starved whores.

Oh - and I am sure the reporters will get released by the way, Kim is basically getting a ransom paid to him with attention as the currency. I am glad they are probably going to be able to come home, I just hate the fact that an ex-president had to go give a metaphorical hand-job to a crazy ass dictator to do it - and I hate even more that the former president was probably happy to do it.

Sam Ronson throws Lindsay Lohan's shit into the street

I really was not going to bother posting this when I heard about it yesterday - but I feel left out since all the other sites that post stupid shit about celebrities are all over it. That is exactly the type of peer-pressure that made me try steroids and heroin - which beats the shit out of meth and creatine by the way.

Anyway Sam Ronson got lesbian angry at Lindsay Lohan and threw her shit in the street and then Lindsay tearfully picked it up while the paps shot film ... some say if you listened close enough you could hear the last little sliver of her pride scream as it died.

It does not really matter why this happened - I once knew a lesbian that told me that in their world you date a girl for two weeks and then break up with her for the next 4 years. She might have said other shit too but I lost interest so I never learned the secrets of lesbian love - maybe I will google it.

If you really have to know you can read the link below.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1201073/Samantha-Ronson-chucks-Lindsay-Lohans-clothes-street-row-Sopranos-actress-Drea-De-Matteo.html

God - why do you kill people that are not Lindsay Lohan?

The picture above is the only picture I like of Lindsay Lohan - you can look at it and pretend she's dead. Seriously of all the shit I hate she is definitely on the upper end of my 'celebrity broads I hate' list. Maybe top 10 depending on who is on T.V. at the moment - it is a pretty dynamic list. Not just because she is a ginger (you know - one of those redheads cursed with freckles) because I have seen like three differant redheads I would have sex with even if I am not drunk.

No I hate her because of her soul - the fact that she is a ginger skank that looks like she has questionable hygiene (at best) is just gravy.

So this strung out slut (Lindsay Lohan - in case you thought I changed subjects) was locked out of her boyfriend Sam Ronson's house (EDIT: wait - you are kidding me - that is a fucking chick!?) and she wanted to be inside instead of outside. Now to be fair - for once she did the opposite of what a strung out whore would do and called a locksmith. I honestly would have expected her to break the window by throwing somebodies baby through it.

After that things were handled in an adult manner ..... or, you know, not ....

The 23-year-old star walked around the entrance of the house as the locksmith started working on the door, watched by Lindsay's pal Christy.

She then found an open window and exclaimed, "What the f***, the lock just came undone. You know what sir, we already got in, thanks. We just broke in. We just found a way in."

She then refused to pay the man's call out fee, claiming he was asking for $300

I know that one thing we common people love is when we are called out in the middle of the night to be treated like a fucktard and not get paid. If I were this locksmith I think I would just devote my life to following Lindsay around and changing the fucking locks of anything she wanted to get into, of course I would have to come up with a fancy super villain costume and a cool name and .... meh - it would be just easier to smack the shit out of her - yeah he should have done that.

Link if you really need more details on this gripping story of stupid.

http://www.ebar.com/news/article.php?sec=news&article=3839