Ashton Kutcher is all :( that Brittney Murphey Died

If it were physically possible for me to cry Ashton Kutcher's touching farewell to Brittney Murphey would have had tears streaming down my face like a rape victim  sad princess.

Today Ashton got on twitter and pushed the following prose out to the universe;

"2day the world lost a little piece of sunshine. My deepest condolences go out 2 Brittany's family, her husband, & her amazing mother Sharon."

 But wait there's more - he followed with;

"see you on the other side kid."

Damn twitter for limiting the amount of characters you can put into a message ... but then again I don't think they intended it to be used to deliver a eulogy for a former girlfriend. All I know is that he must have really loved her  to go out of his way to twitter something about her death. 


I think you can do less .... somehow. I would h8 to be as :( as he must be. 


Oh and if you happen to read this Ashton - what I wrote may be a little subtle for you - basically I am saying you are a dick. 

So ... Tiger hates condoms but loves whores..... sounds smart

So alot of the stuff I am glossing over says that Tiger went bareback with the (nearly) dozen sluts we know about ..... God knows how many we don't know about. This leads me to believe either;

a - he is invulnerable and cannot be infected by any human STD.

or

b - he is fucking retarded.

Yeah.... one or the other.

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IPHY Format Change

For the dozens of people that accidentally stumble onto my site I figured I should mention that I am changing the format so that I can continue to fill the internet with vile crap.

Some of my posts will now be shorter or done through a mobile device (so will not have a picture - until I figure out how to do that.)

Enjoy.

Happy Holidays My Ass

So the other day I was talking to a fellow manager at the corporation that was stupid enough to make me the manager of a department and he mentioned that he only tells people 'Happy Holidays' because saying 'Merry Christmas' is too exclusionary and he didn't want to offend anyone.

I laughed and told him he was a gigantic pussy and he was the reason that America is going in the toilet...... conversation kind of tapered off at that point.

I kept thinking about it though.

Who the hell is he worried about offending? The only people I know who would be offended by someone wishing them a 'Merry Christmas' are other gigantic pussies and atheists.

I used to have a Muslim coworker - and if he would have wished me a happy Ramadan I wouldn't have been offended, I would have been delighted that he was not calling me an intolerant asshole for once. If someone right now came up and wished me a happy Hanukkah I would wish it right back at em. I don't think I know a single Jew or Muslim that is offended that I celebrate Christmas, I know some Christian's that get offended by the fact that I celebrate it in a strip club - but that is a whole different thing.

If I got offended that a Muslim told me 'Happy Ramadan' he would think I was a dick, and he would be right. Not only that - if I was offended by his Ramadan greetings the world would brand me an intolerant bigot, and honestly I don't think that would be out of line. So why in the hell do people expect others to be offended by 'Merry Christmas"?

Recently some Best Buy in Detroit put out an ad that wished everyone a happy Eid-al Adha - which made some people all butthurt, but - honestly - does anyone sane give a shit? I hope everyone did have a happy Eid-al Adha, and I presume most Muslims hope that I have a kick-ass Christmas. For that matter I hope you have an uneventful Tet and a happy day celebrating whatever crazy shit Scientologist's have a day for.

I would really be interested in knowing if I have this all wrong, and if other faiths are actually pissed when they see Christmas trees and decorations all over the place this time of year. I honestly don't give a shit if the streets look like Christmas, Hanukkah, and Ramadan exploded all over societies proverbial face. Crosses, Santa's, Dreidels, and uh ....something Ramadan-ish (there actually is not a set decoration for Ramadan it turns out). The point is I don't give a crap what holiday you decide to celebrate and I would expect the same consideration.

I honestly think that the only people all that worried about Christmas being exclusionary are douches with an agenda to push that honestly don't give a crap about inclusion - they just want a vehicle to prove how intolerant/racist/fascist America is.

So Merry Christmas - and if that offends you then suck it.