Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Is Somalia Going Too Far?




Never let it be said that I am not a fan of firm breasts, however I think we all agree there needs to be sane limits on breast regulation....

Residents tell the paper that (al Shabaab) gunmen have been gathering women in Mogadishu who are perceived to have firm busts. 


Ok, so I guess all of us are not in agreement.Can we at least make this something where no one goes overboard on the punishment?

These women are then publicly whipped by masked men as punishment for what Islamist leaders call deception.

Publicly whipped for having breasts that are not up to al Shabaab's high standards, I hope that they at least let the women they publicly whip for having deficient (to the men of al Shabaab) breasts keep some small dignity.

After the public whippings, the women are forced to remove their bras and shake their breasts, the Times reported.

Classy.... really classy. Fuck you Somalia, I can see why tourism is down.

On a somewhat related note don't go to Somalia if you like movies, musical ring-tones, dancing at weddings, or playing or watching soccer. You will only be disappointed .... well if you're lucky you will only be disappointed.

Oh and the picture above has almost nothing to do with the story - I needed a picture of a woman in a burqua but I like the sexy .... this seemed like a reasonable compromise.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

A book so vulgar it kicked John Davis in his vagina

Who the fuck is John Davis and why does his vagina hurt? I'm glad you asked.

John Davis is a father in Vinton Virginia who is very, very, butthurt about his son reading the book 'Perks of Being a Wallflower" by Stephan Chbosky, which according to John is filled with "very descriptive" language about masturbation, drugs, and the gay. Reading this will, of course, lead an impressionable young man to masturbating another guy while doing lines of coke off the back of another guy that he's making sweet buttlove to.

"My first reaction when I saw the contents of the book was anger," Davis told FOXNews.com. "I was infuriated .....They're corrupting his mind with this garbage."

That is what books do - first they corrupt you ....then they control you.

Back in 4th grade I had to read "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" and I started hanging out with talking lions and killing witches. This book is (I guess) even worse and society cannot have schools giving impressionable young children books that are going to make them use drugs or give them the gay.

Of course in this case there are a few things that differ from my sad childhood literary rape. In this case John's son is fucking sixteen years old and, oh yeah, the school did not assign this book to the students. In this case he got the book from a friend of his that had gotten the book from a teacher. Why did the teacher give the book to the original student? Who cares - let his parents worry about it.

Hey - remember when you were sixteen and you read a book and it inspired you to do something that was totally against your upbringing? Me neither - because it never frigging happened.

Why is it that the people who are raised in the most 'moral' fundamentalist Christian households seem to always need the most protection from the evils of society? I remember born-again Christians being afraid that porn, Dungeons and Dragons, and the group Styx was going to totally corrupt their kid and lead them to murder or suicide or both. I personally think it's because they live in a community where they are constantly told what to think and that combined with the fact that they embrace magical thinking (i.e. The Devil is always who screws up things in your life) leads to a group of people with very weak wills. Think I am full of crap? Go see how many stories you can find about secular people being possessed.

I have nothing against Born Again Christian's when they are not all full of crazy. I have known a bunch and some seem normal, but I also know many that think anytime something goes wrong it is not their fault - it is The Devil. I suppose some people find comfort in assuming that nothing they do is ever within their control.

But I digress...

If this book had been required reading I could see John's point, he should have the right to determine what is appropriate for his kid, this however was not the case. Of course now that the ball is rolling maybe John wants to protect us all;

"I don't think it's age-appropriate for anyone," he said. "I don't think adults should be reading that junk. It's pornography.

Hey John - piss off. Censorship is for small minded little nancey-boys; if there is something you don't want to read, watch, or hear you can be a big boy and make that choice - but you don't get to make that choice for me.

John should really take this whole thing up with his kid - it has nothing to do with anyone else.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Jon Gosselin Clears The Family Bank Account - My last Jon and Kate Story


Over the weekend Jon has initiated part 3 of his plan for winning the hearts and minds of his children and the world;

Jon violated an arbitrator's rules and pulled hundreds of thousands of dollars out of his joint account with Kate, leaving her with only $1,000, a RadarOnline.com investigation uncovered.


This is where I would talk about what a total scumbag this guy is ....I know that you already know he is dick - but humor me.

I seriously get the impression (based on nothing other then hearsay and Internet clips) that Kate is a raving bitch, but maybe the reason she is like that is she regularly had sex with this sleazy prick. Maybe she thought if she married a mildly retarded loser that looks like his has been hit with a wee bit of a birth defect that he would make up for all of it by being a really nice guy with alot of inner beauty.

Good call. Instead he cheated on her, got her show delayed, cleared out her bank account, and probably gave her VD (I admit that last one is pure conjecture).

Let this be a lesson to all you teenage girls, no matter how ugly and stupid your boyfriend is he may not stick around after you have had a couple litters of children - so maybe just have kids in the traditional singles and doubles instead of the new trendy 'party size' litters. It is alot easier to be a single mother when you don't have more than half a dozen kids.

In his defense he probably needs the money until he starts getting the $30,ooo per appearance he wants in exchange for showing up at events and hanging out (here). Totally worth it - nothing says your party is a success like having a sleazy reality 'star' hanging out trying to hit on girls that would not usually bother to spit on him. Maybe he will even do that classy thing where he has one of his bodyguards walk over and ask a girl if she wants to have a drink with him. Pure fucking class.

Oh and congratulations Jon and Kate, you lasted about as long as the Spencer and Heidi Pratt did on my blogs. I am officially too bored to write anything else, so unless there is a bizarre murder or suicide or something I am not going to bother. I'm not making suggestions here btw - so if someone gets killed in this whole thing don't come blaming me.... or thanking me ... or whatever.



Thursday, October 1, 2009

If Jon Gosselin can't be on the show NO ONE WILL


I guess Jon's attempts to reconcile (here) didn't work and now it is time for plan B.

"Effective immediately, no production crews are to enter Jon's family home for any reason," a letter from his attorney said, according to "The Insider," which announced the news on CBS' "The Early Show."

I can't really blame him, he went all out and wrote that whole press release about wanting to save their marriage in time for him to be back on the show this season and he has given Kate a couple of days to take him back. What the hell else do you need?

He HAD to move to plan B and try to stop the show. Don't you people understand that love makes you do crazy shit? Where else is he going to get a television show?

It completes him... oh and the wife and kids he loves etc. etc.

I don't watch the show, but seeing these two in the media gives me the impression that they are both greedy, manipulative, narcissistic, asshats that probably should have had therapy to deal with whatever the hell made them this way instead of popping out two litters of kids.

But then what the hell do I know? I haven't even been on a reality show much less been the focus of one.

I am on Jon's side in this one though, I think the show should be cancelled too.