Monday, October 5, 2009

Jon Gosselin Clears The Family Bank Account - My last Jon and Kate Story

Over the weekend Jon has initiated part 3 of his plan for winning the hearts and minds of his children and the world;

Jon violated an arbitrator's rules and pulled hundreds of thousands of dollars out of his joint account with Kate, leaving her with only $1,000, a investigation uncovered.

This is where I would talk about what a total scumbag this guy is ....I know that you already know he is dick - but humor me.

I seriously get the impression (based on nothing other then hearsay and Internet clips) that Kate is a raving bitch, but maybe the reason she is like that is she regularly had sex with this sleazy prick. Maybe she thought if she married a mildly retarded loser that looks like his has been hit with a wee bit of a birth defect that he would make up for all of it by being a really nice guy with alot of inner beauty.

Good call. Instead he cheated on her, got her show delayed, cleared out her bank account, and probably gave her VD (I admit that last one is pure conjecture).

Let this be a lesson to all you teenage girls, no matter how ugly and stupid your boyfriend is he may not stick around after you have had a couple litters of children - so maybe just have kids in the traditional singles and doubles instead of the new trendy 'party size' litters. It is alot easier to be a single mother when you don't have more than half a dozen kids.

In his defense he probably needs the money until he starts getting the $30,ooo per appearance he wants in exchange for showing up at events and hanging out (here). Totally worth it - nothing says your party is a success like having a sleazy reality 'star' hanging out trying to hit on girls that would not usually bother to spit on him. Maybe he will even do that classy thing where he has one of his bodyguards walk over and ask a girl if she wants to have a drink with him. Pure fucking class.

Oh and congratulations Jon and Kate, you lasted about as long as the Spencer and Heidi Pratt did on my blogs. I am officially too bored to write anything else, so unless there is a bizarre murder or suicide or something I am not going to bother. I'm not making suggestions here btw - so if someone gets killed in this whole thing don't come blaming me.... or thanking me ... or whatever.