Thursday, October 8, 2009

A book so vulgar it kicked John Davis in his vagina

Who the fuck is John Davis and why does his vagina hurt? I'm glad you asked.

John Davis is a father in Vinton Virginia who is very, very, butthurt about his son reading the book 'Perks of Being a Wallflower" by Stephan Chbosky, which according to John is filled with "very descriptive" language about masturbation, drugs, and the gay. Reading this will, of course, lead an impressionable young man to masturbating another guy while doing lines of coke off the back of another guy that he's making sweet buttlove to.

"My first reaction when I saw the contents of the book was anger," Davis told "I was infuriated .....They're corrupting his mind with this garbage."

That is what books do - first they corrupt you ....then they control you.

Back in 4th grade I had to read "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" and I started hanging out with talking lions and killing witches. This book is (I guess) even worse and society cannot have schools giving impressionable young children books that are going to make them use drugs or give them the gay.

Of course in this case there are a few things that differ from my sad childhood literary rape. In this case John's son is fucking sixteen years old and, oh yeah, the school did not assign this book to the students. In this case he got the book from a friend of his that had gotten the book from a teacher. Why did the teacher give the book to the original student? Who cares - let his parents worry about it.

Hey - remember when you were sixteen and you read a book and it inspired you to do something that was totally against your upbringing? Me neither - because it never frigging happened.

Why is it that the people who are raised in the most 'moral' fundamentalist Christian households seem to always need the most protection from the evils of society? I remember born-again Christians being afraid that porn, Dungeons and Dragons, and the group Styx was going to totally corrupt their kid and lead them to murder or suicide or both. I personally think it's because they live in a community where they are constantly told what to think and that combined with the fact that they embrace magical thinking (i.e. The Devil is always who screws up things in your life) leads to a group of people with very weak wills. Think I am full of crap? Go see how many stories you can find about secular people being possessed.

I have nothing against Born Again Christian's when they are not all full of crazy. I have known a bunch and some seem normal, but I also know many that think anytime something goes wrong it is not their fault - it is The Devil. I suppose some people find comfort in assuming that nothing they do is ever within their control.

But I digress...

If this book had been required reading I could see John's point, he should have the right to determine what is appropriate for his kid, this however was not the case. Of course now that the ball is rolling maybe John wants to protect us all;

"I don't think it's age-appropriate for anyone," he said. "I don't think adults should be reading that junk. It's pornography.

Hey John - piss off. Censorship is for small minded little nancey-boys; if there is something you don't want to read, watch, or hear you can be a big boy and make that choice - but you don't get to make that choice for me.

John should really take this whole thing up with his kid - it has nothing to do with anyone else.