Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Bill Clinton and Kim Jong Il; When attention whores collide

So the reason presented for Bill Clinton deciding to pop over to North Korea is to see if he could negotiate the release of the two reporters (Laura Ling and Euna Lee) that work for his ex-veep Al Gore.

I guess no one told these two broads that communist countries hate when you hang out and try to interview people fleeing their iron clutches. It also is a bad idea to drip scalding hot wax on your genitals, but I think I would do that before I would hang out on the border between North Korea and China - who, ironically, after catching you drip scalding hot wax on your genitals by the way.


Since I really like pointing out obvious stuff let me just mention that we all know that perhaps the main reason for Bill Clinton going to North Korea, and the reason he has been welcomed, is because he and Kim Jong Il are both huge attention whores that hate feeling irrelevant. You might not have noticed during the last election cycle but Bill Clinton REALLY likes attention, even more than most politicians - hell even more than most Hollywood 'celebutantes' (I hate myself for using that word) ... basically I am saying that Bill Clinton is like Paris Hilton without a vagina.

As far as Kim Jong Il - what the hell can you say? The guy makes his citizens worship him like a God and eats pizza and watches porn while his people are starving. The guy has actually kidnapped actors and directors to try to make them do his film projects for him, seriously he is like a villain I would make up if I were really drunk - he is 'space emperor cult leader' crazy.

This meeting is the best thing to happen to these two in awhile, both of them get to pretend they are as important as they both desperately want to be. Just add Lindsay Lohan to this and it basically would have been the dream team of sad, self absorbed, attention starved whores.

Oh - and I am sure the reporters will get released by the way, Kim is basically getting a ransom paid to him with attention as the currency. I am glad they are probably going to be able to come home, I just hate the fact that an ex-president had to go give a metaphorical hand-job to a crazy ass dictator to do it - and I hate even more that the former president was probably happy to do it.