Wednesday, July 15, 2009

One step closer to the future

I am pleased to announce that we are finally taking the first step to creating an unstoppable army of killing machines. I know some of you are pointing at our Predator drones and thinking that we already took step one ... but Predators can be stopped - Schwarzenegger killed one pretty easily back before he moved on to killing the state of California. Hell Danny Glover killed a Predator - and you can probably kick Danny Glover's ass.

Oh yeah - and that fuel thing, you can kill all the Al-Qaedas you want with a Predator until you run out of fuel.

Well not anymore boys and girls...
A Maryland company under contract to the Pentagon is working on a steam-powered robot that would fuel itself by gobbling up whatever organic material it can find — grass, wood, old furniture,
even dead bodies.
Now there are some that would say that building robot killing machines that feed off the corpses of their victims might not be the best idea - but I personally think it's pretty sweet.

That's pretty much it - I don't have any big philosophical thing to say. I just think it would be cool to have an army of robot killers that feed on the corpses of our enemies. I do have two suggestions however.

1. Make them look fucking horrifically scary - all of our robots thus far look gay as hell, and by gay I don't mean 'stylish' ... I mean out robots/drones look like they love cock. Make our enemies think Jigsaw from the 'Saw' movies has been made Secretary of Defense.
2. Find a way to make American corpses less delicious to our robot killers than foreign corpses. some might say this probably should have been #1 on the list - but I stand by my priorities.

I am almost sure this whole thing is going to be a hell of alot less cool than I want it to be.

Article below;